Something Salinas This Way Comes...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Unpublished Parenting Advice of the Week

I'm just going to come right out and say it:  Do not neglect to take your kids out to eat every once in a while.

Prior to the arrival of the twins, we ate out on a somewhat regular basis.  Kody and Kyleigh reaped the benefits of this, in that they acquired decent eating-in-public and manners.  Joshua is an apple of a different color, though, because he was so small in the time before the twins that his lack of manners was excused with the notion that he was young and knew no better.

Last night we went to the local restaurant, Fast Eddy's, with some friends.  It quickly became apparent that Joshua, fueled by some weird phenomenon that only takes place when we are in public, was going to provide us with our Reason for the Evening Drink. In the two hours we were there, I observed Joshua doing the following things:

*pour pepper into his hot chocolate
*eat his spaghetti using his hands as scoops (seriously, like a shovel)
*ball up the bathroom paper towel he was using and shove it up his nose (Really?)
*attempt to cut his garlic bread in half using a spoon and then a butter knife (only to end up tearing the bread in half and use it as his spaghetti shovel; but hey, it's better than the former scooping tactic)
*When walking down the aisle with him in tow (we were on our way to the bathroom to wash the spaghetti sauce from beneath his fingernails), he muttered (at the top of his lungs) the entire way about having to poop, and how good it feels to poop, and how pooping is "healfy" and attempted to converse (just as we passed the salad bar) with me about that one time when Chloe had orange poop because she ate so many carrots.  To the twenty-something people, all who wore horrified expressions we passed them on the way to the bathroom, my sincere apologies.

It was of no comfort that Hannah and Chloe mimicked every motion Joshua was making--shoveling food into their mouths using their hands, and even creating their own home-made antics involving chocolate milk, straws, and what seemed to be a spitting distance contest.  Also, Hannah attempted to drink the pepper-seasoned hot chocolate and our friend continued to giggle incessantly as every new Joshua Antic surfaced--Seriously Will, when your new baby is born, and having poop explosions, and puking in your mouth, I am going to laugh very hard and attempt to obtain video footage.

So is the lesson here that kids should be brought out to eat more often, or brought out to eat never?  I'm beginning to think that in Joshua's case, we'd be better suited for a feeding trough.