A Tad More of the Random

*I really can't wait to get the new wood stove.  The current stove is old and makes a lot of crackling noises when in use.  Thanks to the Fiery Year of Hell (2008--two stack fires AND a freaking forest fire in our back yard), I now have a bonafide phobia of dying a fiery death.  Since this wood stove is old and creaky, I must come down the stairs several times each night to check for signs of impending doom, only to discover that the crackling sound I am hearing is actually a creaking sound of expanding metal and not the sound of creosote catching fire and threatening to burn my family alive. This new wood stove promises not to be creaky in any way, thus I will be inclined to actually sleep at night.

*Maurice-ism: He bought decorative kerosine lanterns and mounted them on the wall in our living room today. This, he says, will provide me with enough light to sustain my evening ambiance.  I know that at almost fifty cents a kilowatt, he thinks this is a good solution to my fancy electric lamp. I know he thinks this means I won't turn on the electric lamp.  I know that as soon as I hear him coming down the stairs, I'm going to turn off that electric lamp and pretend like I enjoy sitting here in the dark, like a Puritan.

*We keep finding chicken eggs in the deli drawer. Until today, the perpetrator of this weirdness has been a mystery. Turns out, Chloe and Hannah take it upon themselves to remove the eggs from their carton and put them in the deli drawer. If you want to know what justificiation lies in this act, ask them. I'm pretty sure that you will only be able to decifer enough of their reply to lead you either to the living room to obtain a DVD of The Wiggles, or to the top of the fridge to retrieve some candy. If you want to witness just how many eggs can fit into a deli drawer before they completely explode in domino-fashion once the drawer is closed, come on over. Bring a roll of paper towels.

*Maurice is now switching through the channels and just passed a soft-porn version of Tarzan that is airing on Showtime. Which brings me to the question: Why does porn even have plot??

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